Who Has the Time?!?

Everyone has a theory about time... Steve Miller says it keeps on slipping into the future. The Rolling Stones say it's on their side. Bob Dylan claims it passes slowly under certain circumstances. In country music Tracy Lawrence tells us that it marches on. The sayings are endless... what doesn't appear to be endless is time free to devote it to whatever we wish.

I say "appear" because certainly, we make time for that which matters to us. We have that ability... to make time. Sooo, when I hear someone tell me that they don't have time to take care of themselves, what they have just told me in no uncertain terms is that their well being doesn't matter. No judgment. Been there, still there on some days. I get it.

It does bring to mind a few questions though. What does matter to me? Who will put time and energy into those things if I can't anymore? When I was at my self care low point and believe me it was low, I never paused to think about what would happen to the things I cared about if I burnt out. I was convinced that somehow I could go on forever without recharging... that it was a guilty pleasure to take time to build myself back up.

I was wrong... Hey, it happens.

Not only did I owe it to myself, but to the people in my life, both personal and those who I worked so many hours to serve.

The same is true for you. If you're too busy to take some time for you, be it a yoga class, some scribbles in a journal, some peaceful meditation or say a Simply Kindred coaching program; you are cheating yourself and your loved ones. Your family, friends and co-workers deserve to be in the presence of a woman who takes care of herself because:

It surrounds your family and friends with hefty chunks of happiness because that’s the energy they’re getting from you.

It teaches the people around you to take care of themselves too – you’re still giving through your example!

It improves the relationships in your life because now that you have taken back control, it’s easier to communicate and interact. Everyone in your life can feel how you’ve loosened up and want to be at the same level of happiness and contentment you’re at.

The people in your life will be positively influenced by the changes you make for yourself. And those changes to yourself will ignite a revolution of YOU:

• You’ll have an easier and more joyful time looking after the people you love because you won’t be so hard on yourself anymore.
• You’ll have a stronger sense of self so that the opinions of others won’t topple your confidence as easily as before.
• You’ll take the time to have fun and relax so you can recharge yourself so you’re well-prepared for what life demands of you.
• You’ll feel in touch with how capable you are so you can maintain a relative balance in your life between work, family, friends, and YOU.
• You’ll feel more in control with what you got going on and you’ll be able to focus on setting tangible goals for your life and achieve them.
• You’ll know exactly what you want so you are NOT easily swayed by other people’s wants and needs. 
• You’ll pause and respond to things, instead of simply reacting without thinking, so you can make more thoughtful responses, so no one gets hurt or offended.

Can you believe all that comes with just taking a few moments to yourself? Some pretty amazing stuff happens when you know your identity and guard the foundation of you. There’s a level of clarity you achieve and a sense of knowing and confidence to make the choices that are best for you and all the people in your life. It’s a beautiful transition to make. The only challenging part is making the declaration to shift.

It’s easy to forget who you are when you’re trying to help everyone else become who they want to be.

It’s time to take yourself back.

Because it makes you a better YOU.

And I can help you do it.


Click here to book a complimentary Discovery Session with me today. In our hour together, we can discover what it is you truly want, what is keeping you from having it and what needs to shift to get you there. Hopefully we'll laugh and bond over a shared view of the world too, but that's optional.


Click here to sign up for my newsletter. Yep, Another newsletter... I know. BUT I promise not to flood your inbox. I only send out a newsletter when I have upcoming program information to share, funny stories I think everyone will enjoy or Discounts on my programs and services and who doesn't love discounts?!?

(re) CHARGE

She can multitask 200 things at once. Even her in-laws think she's the best thing since sliced bread. 
She singlehandedly punched a hole through the glass ceiling, runs her own company and all of her employees love her. She spends her weekends being the team mom for soccer and volunteering at 3 different nonprofits she cares about. She can go out on weeknights with her girlfriends and still make it to yoga class at 6am the next morning. She's never bounced a check and could afford to retire before she turned 30. Her kids are so well behaved people pay her to let them babysit. She never has bad hair days and she actually rocks that spandex outfit with the S on her chest and has made a cape the new in accessory. She makes Superman seem like small potatoes since all he does is save the world. She Runs the world. She's Superwoman.

Here’s the truth:
Our idea of sacrificing everything for our loved ones, being the go-to girl at work or even the next Nobel recognized humanitarian is unsustainable.

Giving is a beautiful thing. But if it’s all we do, we’re in trouble. If we keep reaching down into ourselves to find a piece to give away, we’re eventually going to turn up empty-handed. And that kind of continual cycle takes a toll on us that we do not deserve. Constantly feeling the rush of emotional waves as we’re getting burnt out trying to satisfy the people in all the different areas of our lives is no fun, especially when…

We can give more than we can possibly imagine- easily- if we also took the time to care for ourselves.

I’m not advocating selfishness or saying that we should stop giving... far from it. We superwomen who thrive when we're giving are a special breed. We're here to, well, help save the world. And that's AWESOME. I can't think of a better calling to have in life. I've also seen more than my fair share of us take on too much and neglect to recharge, thinking that because we're givers, we ALWAYS have to be giving.

When I was a fledgling superhero, fresh out of grad school, I spent countless 80 hour work weeks as a social worker bending over backwards fighting for liberty and justice (yep, for All). Help was a 4 letter word to me, unless I was the one doing it. I was tired, cranky and my loved ones were getting something Much less than my best during the limited hours I was home and awake. I thought that because I was doing "do gooder" work that I couldn't possibly stop to take a breather.

I burnt out.

The people I started out loving to help became a burden. I resented extra requests for my time, energy and attention because I didn't have any left. Suddenly even my favorite parts of my job were just tasks to be ticked off my to-do list. My tank wasn't just empty... I'd dumped sugar in there somewhere along the way and now my engine had blown up. Crap crap crappity crap, especially since I don't know a thing about auto repairs. ;)

I wish I could say I figured it out, scaled back my hours and became a slightly less zealous but no less awesome social worker but I didn't even have the energy for that. I was DONE. It took several years to grasp that the one thing that was truly missing was a little of that superwoman power devoted to meeting my own needs.

Are you burnt out, maybe not just at your job but in life? I've been there and back and while it is still my first instinct to give, I now allow myself to receive as well. I deserve it and Not because I have a nifty cape and mask but because I am human and I need to be loved, just like everybody else does. (Sorry, just had to throw in a song lyric... that's the Smiths in case you didn't catch it.) I was able to take back my joy of giving and it didn't take countless hours meditating in a remote mountain location or reading every single self help book known to mankind.

Are you tried of spandex 24/7? How about some comfy jammies and 15 minutes to yourself? The shift is easier than you'd think and the best part is, it's fun and feels amazing. Tell those expectations to stuff it where the sun don't shine. I have Plenty of ideas on the topic and I want to share them with YOU! Here are two ways to get in touch with me:


Click here to book a complimentary Discovery Session with me today. In our hour together, we can discover what it is you truly want, what is keeping you from having it and what needs to shift to get you there. Hopefully we'll laugh and bond over a shared view of the world too, but that's optional.

Click here to sign up for my newsletter. Yep, Another newsletter... I know. BUT I promise not to flood your inbox. I only send out a newsletter when I have upcoming program information to share, funny stories I think everyone will enjoy or Discounts on my programs and services and who doesn't love discounts?!?

It's All Good

This morning (thanks to a really great group that I'm participating in called 40 Miracles in 40 days provided by Mai Vu) I had a new thought. What would my life look like if I just immediately deemed everything that I did "good". For example, that french bread with an entire tablespoon of butter I just ate? Delicious, satisfying and so GOOD. Ok, while I can't lie, it did taste good, I mean the act of choosing to eat it, judging that as good (which admittedly does agitate some stuff in my brain that's listing off nutrition facts at me). I am not even going to try to argue that butter and white flour are healthy, my dear friends who are health nuts. That's not the point I'm trying to get at. I'm just saying that I'm going to skip right over the shame spiral step that usually accompanies such choices and look for the value in my experience. I usually do that, find the value, but later after much agonizing, beating myself up and countless internal "I told you so's". It seems very silly to me in retrospect.

Why beat yourself up for your choices? If you don't think you'd like to make the same choice again, find some reasons to choose differently. You can't go back and undo it. So, another example would be my love of fairly pointless and terribly unproductive television shows like Grey's Anatomy and Scandal. Feeling guilty about choosing to watch them Friday morning gets about as much work done as the time I spent watching them. Maybe even less because now I'm all sad and browbeaten because I've just spent intense time berating myself for the time out. Good luck moving forward and being more productive and purposeful in that frame of mind.

Again, I'm not advocating blowing off all your responsibilities, eating every fattening food in your house and spending every last dollar in your savings on those cute shoes you just had to have that don't even fit well. I'm just saying that there's a whole lot of freedom available if you just choose not to beat yourself up. I suppose, if the concept of judging everything Good really doesn't sit well with you, then perhaps you could just go with trying not to judge but in my personal experience, judging comes as second nature. Rather than trying to shut it down, I'm just working on a little reprogramming and I have to say, today, I feel rather splendid and I'm in a much better mood so I'm now crossing things off my to do list at a quicker pace.

Try it for a day, just to see if you don't agree that truly adopting an It's All Good stance isn't the best possible gift you could give yourself. :)

Inner Defense Attorney

I've talked quite a bit about my inner critic, how cranky and mean spirited she can be and how recently I discovered that one of my top 5 passions is freeing myself from her less than helpful feedback. She has a tendency to exaggerate small mistakes into epic failures and to hyper-generalize situations... "Since last time you missed an appointment because you completely spaced out about it, this time when you missed one it's because you absolutely don't care about anyone but yourself, and the fact that you were the busiest work-wise that you've been all year really has no part in that whatsoever. See, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, she's GUILTY! Lock her up and throw away the key so that she will no longer be able to harm humanity with her thoughtlessness!"

It only recently occurred to me to think of my inner critic as a the voice of a prosecuting attorney, thanks to a book I was reading but that thought led me to a very freeing one... if there is a prosecuting attorney in my head, endlessly making cases for why I suck at life then when does she rest and the defense attorney get her turn to make her case? In all honesty, I (as the judge and jury) usually call a recess to deliberate right after statements from the prosecution and the defense never gets a word in edge wise.

Like this jacket but no leopard print...

Yesterday, I decided to help myself out and visualize both my inner prosecutor and inner defense attorney. I've been having a lot of success with visualizing things in this manner, so why not? My inner prosecutor is dressed in a bland and conservative grey pants suit, with black high heels, her hair pulled in to a severe bun with cool toned makeup. She looks like a cross between a cranky librarian and an uber uptight accountant.

On the other hand, my defense attorney is dressed in a cream colored skirt suit and purple Monolo's, with short curly hair and warm toned makeup... she looks like a cute girl                                                  next door who found a business suit.                                                Much more free.

Today I'm giving space to both, but ending on the words of the defense. The value in the prosecution's judgey comments are that they provide that many more points for my inner defense attorney to speak truth to. The voices in my head just got a lot more entertaining (and Way better dressed!)

Happy Birthday, Carol

My niece, Carol, turns 16 today. I wrote her a letter about this life event instead of blogging with my writing time yesterday but I didn't want to put it up until it was actually her birthday on the super off chance that she would see it ahead of time. :) A few things in the letter are inside jokes between the two of us, but a lot of it is worth sharing, soooo here:

Carrot,

Sweet 16… ok, I’m not saying that you’re not sweet because certainly you can be (when you want to ;p) but I am going to take a minute to call out an outdated cultural reference. In the 50s Sweet 16 was a appropriate, perfectly suited to girls who didn’t sail all the way around the world alone (see Laura Dekker), starting their own businesses or getting into Harvard (fingers crossed).  Sooo, now that I’ve warmed up to my subject I’m deeming you Spirited 16 and “sweet” can go jump off a cliff – it’ll be good for it, give it a little spunk and then Maybe it’ll be worthy of you. J

Some of my favorite quotes in life are from you. I know I’ve reminded you of them many times but now I’m going to record them here as well, for posterity. Someday I’ll be too old to remember them, so it’s good to get them down now.

“I like fish tacos.” said while staring at the fish tank in the Alpha Delta Chi house, 2ish years old

“Coconut tree, coconut tree,” lather, rinse and repeat this one as you said it Many times in a row dance/running in a circle, also 2ish years old

“Mom, my hamburger’s all discombobulated.”  3 1/2 years, “What’s discombobulated mean?” my brother John, 14

“Don’t leave the flowers at the door… door door door.” 5 or 6 maybe?

“I’m only doing cheer so that I don’t have to have a PE class and I’ll have room in my schedule to take Physics.” -14

These are just a few of the quotes that come immediately to mind but we both know you said many more amusing/amazing things. You’re a verbose individual… it’s a gift.

I’ve also loved seeing you in your various shows but the most memorable one for me was when you played the Changeling Child and got your American Girl doll. Well, that and The Importance of Being Earnest because that happens to be an all time favorite play.

I’m so glad that you were able to come visit Alissia and me in Chicago this summer. It was lovely spending time with an almost grownup version of you. I enjoyed tooling around your museum, seeing Sue and dancing in the Maori ballroom but of course that day leads to another quote which will live on in infamy. “EHHHHHHHHHHH!”

Sooo my advice for your next 16 years is as follows:

1. Give orange chicken to strangers, you never know when it may save your life.
2. Do not, under any circumstances, date any boys who don’t know who the Dr. is.
3. Take random dance breaks in the middle of long term papers, it’s good for your brain.
4. Always keep rolls of toilet paper in your car, you never know when you might want to TP someone’s house or have a bathroom EMERGENCY.
5. Take plenty of pictures, things you think you’ll always remember, fade sooner than you’d think.
6. Take your parents’ advice at least once a year, even when you really don’t want to. Trust me, they’re wrong less than you’d think.
7. Never, ever lose Bix, if you can possibly help it.
8. Cherish your relationships with your siblings. They may be a pain in the butt sometimes but you’re incredibly lucky to have those 3 people in your life just as they are supremely lucky to have you as a big sister.
9. Call your Aunt Koo Koo every once in a while to tell her what kinds of awesome things you’re up to.
10. Try new things whenever you get the opportunity, the sooner the better, who knows what you’ll discover that you’ve missed out on all 16 years you’ve already been around.
11. Love God, love yourself, love the world. While I think most people aspire to the first one, and try their best on the third, in my experience, very few Really get the second one. Figure that out and the other two will naturally fall in place. You are already smart enough, pretty enough, talented enough… in short, you’re enough, just the way God made you. Don’t waste years trying to be anything else.
12. Catch yourself doing the right thing and reward yourself generously.
13. Don’t flick boogers in children’s hair, you’ll just feel bad about it later.
14. What you pay attention to, abounds, so don’t pay attention to negative things. When you catch yourself focusing on something you didn’t handle in a way you feel proud of, simply accept it and plan what you’ll do going forward. Don’t beat yourself up for what’s already done.
15. Memorize the 4 Agreements (yes, I realize you’ll probably have to look them up but I promise, there is great emotional freedom in living by these principles… unsurprisingly, they’re all Biblical, though the wording may not be verbatim)
16. Play more it inspires better work, I swear.

Ok, I think 16 pieces of advice should suffice for a Spirited 16 birthday. I love you and I wish you the best senior year of high school that anyone has ever had in the history of senior years of high school. Go forth and make the world a better place, just by being you. 

Love,

Aunt Kieta

Random Thoughts on a Sunday Night

Driving home yesterday I heard the following "inspirational" quote on the radio, sponsored by the station... "Remember, you can't propel yourself forward while you're patting yourself on the back."

Ok, so I get trying to reduce bragging in our culture but aside from that, I just couldn't disagree with this statement more. First of all, what's the point of setting goals if you never stop and appreciate your accomplishments? Second of all, I know the anatomy of the brain actually responds to the specific endorphins released when celebrating an accomplished goal. It's healing for one and it's motivational to go on and achieve further goals. Having celebrated a job well done, you're now ready to go back out and start taking names again. The pat on the back is refueling, not stalling.

Aside from my disagreement with this one point, I'm wondering on a deeper level about what would cause a broadcasting company to spend money on putting that statement out. They certainly don't make any money off of that time and that's what their air time is for. Record labels pay them to play music, advertisers pay them to play their commercials. Sure the djs have a little bit of talk time that does not directly generate revenue but they are needed to build rapport with the audience and make sure that we're still listening. So I guess that means that the announcement was part of rapport building?

Just who were they attempting to call out with this randomly placed reminder? I still don't get it and obviously it sat with me because I'm still thinking about it a day later... I wonder what I'm avoiding thinking about that I've given this much thought to the radio station part? It's pretty standard for me to think through the motivational statement and weigh it for merit but after realizing I didn't value it, why is it still with me? What else have I heard lately that doesn't really serve me in any way that I'm still holding on to?? Deep thoughts before I start off my week. Happy almost Monday everyone!

I Believe

Earlier this week I won a copywriting giveaway from Nadia Chaudhry. I know, right? I won something. Sooo exciting. Just because I think it's funny, I'm going to include my response to her when I saw the email notification that I'd won.

Nadia,

OMG OMG OMG, you should see me, I'm jumping up and down like my name just got called on the Price is Right. No, let's change the image to Let's Make a Deal - I'd TOTALLY be the dork in some sort of cheesy costume. :)

I'm super excited, more than you could probably even guess, because my project for this week is to work on wording for my new website and you know how much I've written so far? Yeah. Not a drop. I keep playing around with the images instead. Oddly enough, my undergrad is in writing so you'd think I'd be more excited about that part, but the images feels like play and the writing feels like work. Also, probably by the end of the evening, I will have all the images Just the way I want them which doesn't leave me any viable excuses.

Soooo, just let me know what kinds of info you need from me or what I do next and I'll be sure to catch my breath before responding!

THANKS!!!!!!!!!

Kieta

Of course, I wrote that a few days about before I really started writing. I have most of my content pages done now. The major hold out is my testimonials because I just made requests for them a couple days ago and of course, people need more time. If I would have thought of it when I first started... but c'est la vie. The point is, my website is shaping up beautifully. Part of my work with Nadia (and something I intended for my website but hadn't gotten to yet, so it was doubly helpful) was to list some things I believe about life because of course, future clients will want to know these things. My list can be found on my website but I'm also going to share it here. It seems appropriate.

I believe:

that knowing and loving yourself is the single most important thing we can give of ourselves to make the world a better place.

that happiness is a choice.

that the more fun you are having, the closer you are to God.

that the only limits on our lives are the ones we come up with ourselves.

that growing up isn't all it's cracked up to be.

that everyone can benefit from working with a coach. (I still work with one, even though, or perhaps especially because, I am one)

I also believe that I'm really going to enjoy working with Nadia. Her instructions so far have included suggestions to sit outside while I do my work eating cake or pie or sipping something lovely. That's so up my alley. I'm really grateful for the reminder.

Wdo you believe?

Self Care

I have been up since 2am, writing for the better part of the day and quite simply, it is in my best interest to go to bed instead of ramble about self care. Sooo, I'm modeling it. I've kept my agreement to post everyday and now I'm going to get some sleep! :)

I wish I was this cute when I'm sleeping but no dice.

A Published Life

Last night, I had a bit of an aha moment with myself in terms of my personal goals. I make goals every day, for what I want to accomplish, for minimizing the amount of sugar I eat, for drinking enough water. I make weekly goals and monthly goals and as a coach, I certainly help people set goals and hold them accountable. The goals that I don't write down and even more importantly share with other people, are the ones I inevitably find excuses not to keep. Last night when I was tired, ready to call it a night and in no mood to blog it occurred to me, "hey, people can see whether or not I wrote every day, I need to get on it."

I know that I am not the only one who finds it easier to back out on personal goals, particularly those that remain unshared but I've been giving some thought to what ways I can support my personal goals in being more successful. (The promises I make to myself should be kept with the same integrity as the ones I make to others and yet my track record with myself is pretty off.)

I know that just having something public motivates me more, so I'm going to publish a goal that I'm really pushing myself towards this week and if any of you who read my blog would be so kind as to ask me about it's completion by Saturday morning, I would be forever grateful. :)

I am working on designing and writing content for my coaching website. As of this evening I finally have a workable design in place but now I need to suck it up and write out the 6 pages worth of information about my services and such.

Here's a link to the site that is temporarily hosting my work, so you can get an idea of what I've done so far. http://klwheeler78.wix.com/idontknowyet

I plan to do a few more tweaks but not until After I write stuff to fill the pages that don't currently exist. Two more days to get it done. Here's to hoping that sharing this with everyone keeps me on task!!

Money Money Money Money

So my bbf attended a money consciousness conference call and came away with two key things which she shared with me. The first is that you need to make money into someone you love, with a face. (The call actually said lover but that word has sleezy affair type connotations in my personal vocabulary so I opted to reword.) When I closed my eyes and asked what person money looks like to me, I saw a redhead little girl with curly hair, fair skin, splashing around in the ocean, arms thrown wide and a time of her life smile. Money definitely looks like someone I want to be friends with. :)

The second suggestion was to write a personal ad which would attract money. I came up with the following:

Fun, engaging, servant of humanity seeks friend for business ventures, travel, charitable giving, debt clearing, novel publishing and raising a family. You’re the one for me if you are just as happy contributing to the lives of others as you are seeing to the well being of loved ones and long to see exotic destinations but also love to catch a great movie at home on the sofa. A love of cute clothes, unique shoes and scrumptious food is also a Must. Above all, you must strive to conduct all of your dealings with integrity for the highest good of all involved and be willing to hold me accountable to the same. I am interested in a lifelong friendship where we both give as much as we receive. Call me right now to schedule fun times and inspiring adventures. Love, Your Future Best Friend

I think it's a fun idea and I intend to really cultivate a better relationship with money so I see it as aligned with the work I'm doing. In talking to a Lot of friends lately, I've noticed a theme of money as a barrier to contentment. I'm not sure why we all have such sketchy relationships with her, but I intend to win money over, not just to have her, because honestly I don't care about possession so much as freedom to live the life I want to live.

What kinds of beliefs do you hold about money? Have you ever looked closely at them? Do they serve you anymore? 

I'm starting a new journey with all of this, as money used to be something I loathed talking about at length. I'll keep you posted on my progress. ;)

I Don't Care, I Love It

Another nighttime blogfest, sneaking one in at what feels like the last minute, although technically I have 4 hours. Today I got to spend the day with my mother-in-law and my niece Kaydance. We picked Kaydance up from school and then took a trip to Michaels to get more of those rubber bands that make up the bracelets all the kids wear these days. It was such an interesting day because I remember when I used to go to craft type stores with my grandma after school. I miss her and am grateful for all of the fun projects she allowed me to take on, even if they weren't perhaps great works of art when I finished.

Mom in the background, Kaydance hammin' it up, like usual. 

Kaydance is 9 and a total character. She is funny, sassy and just generally pretty fun to be around. I don't know that I was quite the same as a kid. Not that I was a bad kid by any means, but certainly more bookish. In the store, I told Kaydance that I was looking for a certain kind of picture frame and she asked as all kids inevitably do, why. I asked, "Well, why do you want another rainbow loom and more bands?" I expected her answer to be, because I like them or something in the ballpark, so I had to chuckle when she responded, "Because they're popular."

While I wouldn't mind being young enough again to have my grandma still around, you couldn't pay me to go back to a time when "Popular" was the ultimate decider of things. I had to have a Starter jacket in junior high because it was popular. I determined whether or not I was interested in boys based on their rung on the popularity ladder. Not that I was at the top of that ladder by any means, just that if I deemed someone below me on that ladder, there was no way I would day dream about dating them - completely out of the question.

Of course, even after school, this notion doesn't completely go away, unless you will it to by choosing your own path. I have to say that these days, I'm a lot more comfortable forging my own path. A recent example that made me chuckle had to do with a new pair of shoes that my mother in law bought for me because she said they reminded her of my style. (Side note, how cool is it that my mother in law Accurately picked out my style?!) I wore them to a family get together yesterday and my sister in law said "Are those the ugly new shoes you just got? Mom said you got a really interesting pair."

Chuckle that it didn't occur to her that if I was wearing them, I probably didn't think of them is ugly but that's sooo my sister in law and you just have to love her for it. No filter but you always know where you stand with her. While it may not always be as sugar coated as polite society might prefer, she speaks her mind and you have to admire the ability to simply not cave to others' expectations.

Anyway, back to the point of the story... when I was younger, that comment might have tarnished my love of the boots a little. I would have felt the need to re-evaluate if they were "cool" enough. Today I just think, "Awesome, my style isn't just like everyone else's. It stands out just enough to be called ugly by some people. Thanks for making my day."

What's in your closet or house or anywhere else that you love and don't care if other people don't get?

P.S. Here's a picture of the boots in question. Feel free to comment on them if you feel so inclined. It won't sway me. I love them. :)

Splendid Torch

This is the true joy in life.  The being used for a purpose, recognized by yourself as a mighty one; The being, a force of nature instead of a feverish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.  I am of the opinion that my life belongs to the whole community, and as long as I live, it is my privilege to do forth whatever I can.  I want to be thoroughly used up when I die.  For the harder I work, the more I live.  I rejoice in life for its own sake.  Life is no brief candle to me; It is a sort of splendid torch which I've got a hold of for the moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as I can before handing it on to future generations.   -George Bernard Shaw

For the harder I work, the more I live. Ooh boy, do I wish I felt like that on days when my to do list feels like it is kicking my butt! This poem was recently included in a newsletter I receive and re-reading it really drove home the notion that when I view my life in term's of its purpose, to be of service to others, I am capable of doing more because it's not just work, it's being ME.

Of course, there's also that brilliant image I want to be thoroughly used up when I die. That's right. I don't want to end my life with gas in the tank. That would mean I was holding back, putting in less than my best effort. Sometimes, the idea of my best effort terrifies me. Like many people, I have some fears of success, no doubt routed in old beliefs that I don't even realize I've held on to. However, I'm coming to this place in my life where I'm giving my beliefs another once over and chucking out ones that hold me back or choose to hold me in a place of suffering (ie anything that says that I don't deserve happiness, love, peace, success, joy... those are all Crap, Crap, Mega Crap).

I rejoice in life for its own sake. Today with some events that have deeply angered and saddened me, this has been difficult to remember but the fact remains that I do love my life. I love my opportunities to be ME, even when others clearly don't value that. No one other than me has to. :)

Cinco de Blogo

This blissful Saturday marks day 5 of the 31 day blog challenge and the first day that I didn't get right up and get my blog done early in the morning. What was I doing instead, you ask? (Yes, I know you didn't ask but humor me...) Well, Alissia, GK and I went to a puppy manners refresher course. Since the move, we've noticed a lack of effort on her part, which was largely preceded by a lack of working with her on Our part.

At the trainers, GK was back to her well behaved, not jumping up on little old ladies and trying to topple them with love, obedient self and the whole thing struck me as a nice illustration of how everyone needs a little refresher course now and then. I've had my fair share of training on things that matter to me and I still slip in and out of using it effectively. I've listened to/read/participated in/talked about/coached on the value of the present moment, stepping outside of a victim mentality and loving myself first so that I can love and serve others quite a bit but that doesn't mean that I don't have days where I use all of my tools effectively (or at all). Sometimes, my spiritual manners need some fine tuning. I usually notice it's time for a check up when blame is on the table.

Since I don't always have the time (or patience) to pick up a book or meditate myself back into a better state of mind, I often utilize easy ways to get myself back on track. Dancing like a goof, singing at the top of my lungs, running in sprinklers, you name it. If you notice a childlike theme to my solutions, it's because I have a much harder time seeing the world as a bad place when I'm laughing and playing, just like a child even though chronologically, I'm a bit outside of the age range.

Today, A Christmas Miracle occurred in our house. Long story short, a huge Christmas music playlist that Alissia lost in a breakup Years ago, magically reappeared in her ITunes today. My guess is that it has something to do with her cloud or some such, the point being it's back. Alissia LOVES Christmas... about as much as my mother LOVES Christmas, so she is uber excited and we spent a good 45 minutes listening to Christmas Carols. I'm partial to the foreign language, classical and opera ones as opposed to say Little Saint Nick by the Beach Boys but either way, we are both in a spirit of renewed giving and joy thanks to Christmas in October and I'm impressed with how just hearing those familiar songs reminded me of the excitement I used to feel around holidays when I was younger.

I'm eternally grateful for simple ways to reconnect with the joys of my childhood and while I resisted loving Christmas for many years out of bratty rebellion, I have to say that I'm reclaiming a love of it that I had lost for a very long time (Christmas Miracle number 2, though really that started last Christmas with no small amount of influence from Alissia). I'm still not going to decorate every square inch of my home in red, green, gold and Santa but a small part of me that I stuffed down during those silly years when I didn't want to be like my mother, is finally back. Now that I'm older and wiser, I know that I've inherited much of what I really like about myself from my mom and I'm Exceptionally glad to have come to that awareness as opposed to my ridiculous quest for independence in my 20s. :)

Sooo, my suggestion for the night is to put on some Christmas Carols, make yourself some cocoa and settle in for a cozy night with a book or a loved one. It's not quite the season yet, but it will do great things for your soul.

Why So Serious?

My first 4 attempts at writing my blog this morning were focused on politics. I woke up at 2am and was reading more information about the government shutdown and wondering why political parties are such a train wreck. The more I typed, the more serious it became and suddenly I just felt like I was in over my head. It's not that I don't have intelligent things to say about compromise, governing with love and understanding instead of ruling with fear. I Could write a blog about that but I have this sense that I'd only be contributing to the countless voices busy preaching their way and not listening.

Sooo, I decided to listen. Yes, first to political parties I don't agree with but when that seemed equally pointless I decided to switch up entirely. This morning I'm listening to some songs and watching some videos that I haven't thought of in a while and just being happy because I think life is as good as you let it be.

Catch My Breath - Kelly Clarkson. 

I've had this song in my head all morning, namely the line "for the sake of the show". I spent much too much of my teens and 20s concerned with what other people expected of me. These days, I'm just excited to be able to clearly hear my own voice.

Fidelity - Regina Spektor

While the song does have some interesting vocal stuff that gets stuck in my head, I mostly just love the video. If you've never seen it before, you have to wait til the near end to see what I love about it. Up until then you'll just be scratching your head and thinking I've got a screw (or two) loose.

Signs - a short film I saw a few years back and still love

I cried the first time I saw it... annnnd maybe the second :) It's a good reminder that we all need to connect and should jump on opportunities.

and last but not least

Conquest of Paradise - Vangelis

It's a theme from a movie that I've never even seen but it makes me want to get up off my but and do good things.

What songs inspire you? Are there any great inspirational videos in your queue? Please share in the comments.

Writer's Block is no Match for Ray Charles

I sat down this morning with every intention of starting a new short story, you know, like I promised myself yesterday. I've been staring at my computer screen for the past couple of hours, thinking of anything and everything except an inspiring story idea. A nerdy Star Trek quote keeps tap dancing around my brain. "Resistance is futile."

Clearly, I'm experiencing quite a bit of resistance in my creative writing world. I haven't written anything in months. Well, actually, that's not entirely accurate. I have written about 6 different first paragraphs this morning only to do the computer version of crumbling them and pitching them in the trash (delete delete delete). I think I need to move away from my computer and out into my super tree filled farm yard.

I always feel more inspired when I'm connected to nature. Growing up, it was the ocean but that's a pretty far drive from Chicago. I'm going to see if I can't make do with some trees and deer sightings. They've been wandering through my yard lately, scampering off when I come outside, but it's really cool to see.

I also have a call today that I'm looking forward to, to plan a speaking engagement. While my fiction efforts have been less than prolific, my nonfiction thoughts have been swirling. Creativity is creativity but fiction writing was my first love and I'd really like to get back in touch with that.

Outside of my writer's block, I'm thinking big thoughts about why we have resistance to things that we really love. Yesterday I read a fellow blog challenger's post about her love of quilting and how she had to force herself past thoughts that all of her real work had to get done first before she could make time. (You can read that post here, if you're so inclined) What is it about fun stuff that makes us think it is less important than boring, torturous monotony that we don't get any joy from?

I understand the need for balance. You can't run around tip toeing through the tulips when there's chores to be done, at least not endlessly. Who's to say though, that you won't be in a much better frame of mind doing said chores, if you allow a little tip toeing First. Yesterday, when I checked in with myself about what I really wanted to do it the moment, it was dance around like a loon to an old Ray Charles song. It may sound silly, but that 3 minutes really helped sway my energy into an upswing. Enough so, that perhaps before I quest out into the trees, I'm going to do it again.

What are your recharging activities? What Fun things do you do, to motivate yourself to do the "important" things? I challenge you to come up with a list. I'm working on mine mentally, as I type. :)

NaNoWriMo

This morning I signed up to participate in NaNoWriMo, which is National Novel Writing Month, in November. October's challenge to blog every day for 30 days is my attempt to prime the pump before digging in my heals to make some serious headway on this novel I've wanted to write and have been super stalled on.

My friend/cousin-in-law, Christina Thompson, is going to participate with me which is just plain awesome because now I'll have a buddy. Someone else insane enough to just jump off in the deep end without the certainty that they even know how to swim. Love it. Looooove it.

In that vein, though, I think during October I'm also going to endeavor to write a couple of off topic short stories, just to stretch and flex my creative writing muscles. I once compared novel writing to a marathon which I'd never trained for. While a few short stories still aren't going the distance (oooh, sing the Cake song if you know it - Yes, Rachel Dodd, I said CAKE :)), it will at least get my mind back into things like plot, voice, and whether or not my characters feel real. If anyone has any particular story ideas that they'd like to see me write, feel free to leave some notes in the comments.

Yesterday, my blogger best friend, who has turned into my coaching best friend who I haven't yet met in person, sent me a picture of a journal with peacock feathers on the cover. She said she saw it and immediately thought of me. I love when people see things I'm currently all about and think of me. It means their paying attention. I'm feeling very loved and safe this morning, which is perhaps why I've found the courage to officially claim my participation in NaNoWriMo, as opposed to just thinking I might do it.

I started to write "if I finish an entire novel" but I caught myself and remembered that I want to write more empowering phrases about my goals sooo starting again When I finish an entire novel in the month of November, that will be the culmination of a life long dream. I've been thinking that I wanted to write one ever since... I dont know, 5 or 6 years old. I started one (and got a lot farther than my current one) in late high school and continued to work a little in college but it was on a hard drive that fried. I have some of the chapters on paper in a box of remembrance stuff but looking back at my style of writing, it's just not a project I want to continue.

In the effort to link today's post to yesterday's, writing a novel, whether I do it in a month or my lifetime, is a marker of my first passion: letting myself play and dance with rhythmless childlike joy. Writing in all of its various forms is one of the ways that I am living a passionate life.

Are you living a passionate life? How do you know? Feel free to share in the comments!!

My Life is Ideal and I Am...

As some of you may know, Alissia recently became a facilitator for an amazing life tool called the Passion Test. Contrary to a few comments from the peanut gallery, it is not in any way related to a passion party. The test is designed to help you get clear about what matters most to you in life so that if you're not acting on those things day to day, you can get right on that and if you are, you can grow, stretch and find new expressions of them. We've both taken the test before, but this weekend I did a new one, with the help of a professional. :)

I thought it might be helpful to claim my top 5 passions so that my friends and family are all aware of ways that they can encourage and motivate me... or call me out when I'm so far in left field I can't even see home plate. (woohoo, my first sports analogy of this month's 31 day blog challenge!) I boldly proclaim the following:

My life is ideal and I am...

1) Allowing myself to play and dance with rhythmless childlike joy
2) Giving freely of my time, love, energy and money to those who need it
3) Serving others
4) Listening to my higher self's feedback
5) Freeing myself from my mind/inner critic

These are things that must be present for me every single day or I'm not choosing to show up like the bright and shiney little sunshine pants God sent me here to be. When I am doing these things, I am happy, fulfilled and purposeful. When I'm ignoring these things, I'm caught up in drama or silly stories about how my life isn't awesome. Let's be clear (and this statement is every bit as much for me as for my blog) my life is Awesome. My challenges, my failures to show up as the best possible version of myself, my outright temper tantrums, do Not detract from the awesomeness of my life. They are simply little road signs pointing the way to deeper levels of contentment.

For years, I've viewed my attachment to drama as one of my fatal flaws; a reason why I would never be truly happy. When I stop judging (even for just a moment) myself, I can breathe in and notice how beautiful life really is and find the motivation to spit shine anything that has gotten a little smudged. I know that I am not alone in my hyper critical self opinion so I just want to invite all of us to take a deep breath, think pixie dust flight worthy thoughts (happy... c'mon, Peter Pan is a great story) and leap into a day where we have abundant patience with ourselves.

What will you do today with the time you free up by simply choosing not to beat yourself up? :)

Pretty Birdie

I am extremely excited about this new possession I have (courtesy of Alissia's mom. Thanks, Debbie!). It is a paper box with peacocks on it. Just looking at it reminds me of the feeling of being a small kid with a new toy, envisioning all of the endless possibilities. What will I put in there? Doesn't it look like it just can't wait to hold secret treasures? Even the texture of the box has me geeking out, just like when I get a new journal. What a happy happy Saturday. :)

Goals on a Tuesday

This week, I committed to myself that I would blog at least twice. When I sat down to write, I felt like everything I had to say was aimless, already discussed on Facebook last week or just not my best and most inspired work. I decided to take myself back to a website I learned about during the 30 day blog challenge, 750words.com. I haven't been there since July but the idea is to sit down and get out three pages worth of writing in an uncensored fashion. My page isn't public, so it's really my online version of my journal but with the added bonus of the site telling me fun insights like my mood, most used words, how long it took me to write and of course, keeping track of word count for me.

For the fun of it, I'll share with you some of my stats for today:

I was feeling mostly Affectionate and concerned mostly with Success. My mindset while writing was introverted, positive, uncertain and feeling. The primary sense I referenced was touch.

While that part is really just novel and tickles me to see, I'm much more drawn to the new commitment I wrote down in today's 811 words. (I'm trying to become an overachiever...) I am going to commit to writing my 750 words on the site every morning for 30 days. Even when I don't blog or have something I want to share publicly, I always have words running around needing to find their way out of my jumbled brain. I was very resistant to this tool before but now that I'm not blogging every day, it seems like a great gift to myself.

I also had the thought "Tuesday September 17th, what an odd date to set a month long goal." It's not the beginning or end of the month. It's not even directly in the middle. It's not a very auspicious beginning. And in that, my friends, I'm finding a strange sense of beauty. There is no time like the present to become who I want to be or do what I want to do. Today I'm not letting minutia like the date, doubt or resistance stand in the way of my ability to get things done, feel good about my abilities and just generally set myself on a path in which I find value.

In this space of abundant will and creativity, I'm also resisting the urge to overcommit and set goals for any and every thing I've ever wanted to work on. I've been there before too and when I get overwhelmed, those goals just pile on top of me, feeling like lead and suddenly all of my "I CAN DO IT" is bogged down in "but I didn't and now I don't want to." Small steps. Today I am just focusing on rekindling my love affair with words and perhaps tomorrow will be the day to go fold up moving boxes in the basement. With gentleness and ease, I am taking charge of my space, mentally, emotionally and physically.

What do you want to accomplish today? What are you waiting for? :) 

The Last Laugh

I just read the most wonderful book. I know that those of you who know me know that I read books all the time. I re-read favorites frequently. It's generally a good bet that if I'm not talking with friends about great stuff I've read in a book, I'm reading more books. So when I say "the most wonderful book", that should communicate a high level of praise indeed.

The Last Laugh by Arjuna Ardagh is a novel that teaches great spiritual lessons, not unlike The Way of the Peaceful Warrior or The Celestine Prophecy. The truths expressed in the book are actually fairly similar to many different books I've read already. To name a few, the book highlights the need to remain in the present moment, forgive freely and respond to life rather than react. These aren't new concepts, of course. Spiritual masters have been talking about these concepts for thousands of years. What impresses me so very much about this book is the prose, its language often reading like a lyrical poem.

"I had vague memories, like images out of focus, of a time of optimism." and "We were on a small, two-lane road, very straight, lined by tall yew trees standing naked to the sky, like anorexic models." These phrases cued me in to the fact that I was reading not just fiction but literature. My undegrad program at ASU made a big deal about the difference. If I had to sum up what I think the difference is, I'd say that literature steps up the act of storytelling into an art, where the subject matter isn't as catchy as pop culture and the words are chosen carefully to paint a picture rather than just throwing facts at a reader you don't trust to read between the lines. What Ardagh offers us here is beautifully artistic and yet unpretentious. There are more swear words in this book than any spiritual books I've ever read before, but that just makes the story real. How many of us, even those with the purest seeking hearts, wouldn't swear if your life hit such a low that you were actively committing suicide?

After I finished the book, I read the brief biography of Ardagh and learned that he has a Master's degree in Literature and suddenly the pieces fit. This is definitely a book for my friends who love to read, without being too elitest for those who just want to have a little fun. I will undoubtedly be re-reading this book for years to come. Friends can borrow my copy if they can't afford one of their own, but for those of you who I haven't met, I encourage you to get your own copy... Yesterday. This is one of the best books you haven't read yet.

*I received this book for free from Hay House Publishing for review purposes.

Remember ME

A couple of days ago Alissia told me about a great conversation she had with one of her clients who is only 15. Many things led up to the point I want to share, but out of respect for their privacy, I just want to share the part that really spoke to me. Alissia asked her client how she wanted to be remembered when she died and after some thought her answer was "Whole-hearted." What a beautiful answer. When I was 15, I was much more concerned with being well liked. It's not that I wasn't still nice, helpful, funny or any of the other adjectives that have been used to describe me, just that I had an insatiable desire for the approval of others. I didn't yet know how to approve of myself and let the rest go.

This also got me thinking about our lives, others' opinions of us and what really matters. I used to live in constant fear that other people might think about me the same way I thought about me. My worst nightmare was to have someone say aloud the things which I told myself, about myself over and over in my head. I had a bad habit of focusing only on the negative. In fact, I'm sitting here thinking that this was something that I worked on intensely years ago when I started working to love and accept body but actually, I'm reminded of a conversation I had with my mom during the Omega 4 workshop where I met Alissia. Another participant had made me incredibly angry and I was being very harsh with myself for being in the midst of a self knowledge workshop and judging so critically. (It didn't occur to me that I was judging myself even more harshly.) I was truly heart broken that I found myself in a place of Knowing how I wanted to be in the world and failing, ONCE AGAIN, to live it.

I described myself as a bad person and my mom just looked at me like I was nuts. In that moment, I had no awareness of good things I had done, people I had helped, smiles I had caused. It was such a narrow and biased picture of myself that my mom didn't even recognize the description as fitting me. (Oh Thank God for the people in our lives who see us even when, no especially when, we can't see ourselves!!)

I have not always been loving, trusting, truthful or giving but that does not mean that I never have been either. When I die, people aren't going to stand up and say "Oh that Kieta. She could have been great but instead she mainlined sugar, procrastinated on her opportunities and was not very responsible with money." No, that's what my inner critic would say but I know that the people who have loved me would honor the moments when I managed to show up as ME. The less than positive stuff, and we all have our share, doesn't get brought up at The End so why do I dwell so hard on it now?

I am so much more than I let myself hope (and so are YOU but I try to keep this blog to my truth). I was created to be GREAT but often settle for great. What blockades have I placed in my life, via self judgment, that limit the Universe from working through me fully? What would my life look like if I just let go? I have many ideas but I think now is a time to let go of thinking and just Be. I'll let you know what happens after that. :)

Back in the New York Groove

Lately, I have been making time for everything but writing my blog. Time for moping, fear, doubt, busy work, even productive stuff that has to be done but not my blog. A couple people have asked me where it has been. My bbf has been in the wings encouraging me to get back to it and yet, I just haven't wanted to. Last night, Alissia asked me why I haven't been doing it when it was something I really loved to do. She reminded me of when I experienced a great sense of joy from posting daily and it felt like a lifetime ago, instead of just a little over a week.

I'd started to feel like the blog was just another obligation. Something I didn't want to do and "should". When I stopped to think about why I now felt dread and resistance to writing my blog a conversation from a week ago popped into my head. Someone who had read several of my blog posts offered some feedback on my writing style. Essentially, their take was that I come here to ramble, not necessarily engage in the art of blog writing. In the moment, I didn't give it  a lot of thought. Friday was such a busy day that when I didn't make time to post, I truly just attributed it to everything else going on.

When I wrote my post on Monday, about Sunday's big farm adventure, I found myself continually looking at how many paragraphs there were and thinking, "This is much too long. No one is going to want to read all of this. How can I pare this story back so I stop wasting peoples' time?"

Now to be clear, I am not blaming this change of spirit on the person who offered the feedback. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and I know that they didn't offer it with the intention of hurting my feelings. The much bigger problem here is that, without even noticing, I let my inner critic pick up that piece of feedback and begin to change how *I* feel about my writing. I became invested in someone else's truth instead of my own and I wasn't even aware of it.

I've made no claims to writing anything brilliant here. I've never said, "This blog will provide spiritual enlightenment in 5 minutes or less, if read every day." This is simply where I come to examine what inspires, distracts, motivates, discourages, informs my lifelong goal of just being ME. I do hope that my transparency helps those who read it, but then again, that doesn't really have anything to do with me. I come here to share my spiritual path and what you do with my rambling is your choice. I don't claim to have THE TRUTH, but I do come here to share MY truth. This blog might never change the world, but it Is helping to change me... into ME. I can't think of a better use for a writing platform and I'm recommitting to writing daily... here, the other blog or wherever I feel like I need to, but no more of this once a week nonsense. That's not ME. :)

Life on the Farm

Sunday morning we woke up to a phone call from Alissia's aunt. Something about a cottage on a farm that someone was renting out about a mile away from her house. It was "old and outdated" but it made her think of us a month ago and she'd just not gotten around to calling. The rent is lower than our apartment and on the same side of Chicago as all of Alissia's family. Lately, we have been out there every single weekend, despite the fact that it's 45 minutes away. So, without an address, contact information or anything more than a sense of exploration, we decided to get in the car and just go look. We both love historic houses, tall trees, peaceful solitude. We love our current apartment too, but while talking of ways to cut expenses, the thought of moving had already been brought up.

We got lost on our way out west. Alissia hadn't been to her aunt's neighborhood in about 10 years. We had to call Aunt Tammy for directions twice. When we finally located the almost invisible gravel circle drive, we saw an old farm caretaker house surrounded by lots of grass and trees. There was an enormous barn off to the side and horse stables on the other, with a beautifully maintained vegetable garden in between. The energy of the place was Amazing. We circled the house a few times in the car but there were no signs about the place being for rent or a contact number. Eventually we got out and knocked on the door but no one answered. We could hear classical music playing inside and thought that perhaps someone was there working. It was clear that no one currently lived there, but who knew if the new tenant just hadn't moved in yet? Just as we were getting Graceland back into the car and figuring we'd ask Aunt Tammy if she could do some recon, a car pulled into the circular drive behind us.

"Are you looking for Elizabeth?" a woman asked me. I was afraid she was the new tenant and we were trespassing on her beautiful space. My heart was in my throat.
"Are you renting this place?
"No."
"Well, we were told that this place was for rent. Someone saw a sign or something, but now we can't find a sign and we have no idea who to contact."
"Oh, well, then you are looking for Elizabeth. She owns this place. Get back in your car and follow me and I'll take you to her."

It turns out that this woman, whose name was Kathy, had been interested in renting the cottage but her house failed to sell and she had to back out. She was bringing her grandchildren to see it, because she still loved it, even though she wasn't going to live there. We followed her to another nearly invisible gravel drive which led to a Huge house, several fields and another caretaker house. When Kathy got ahold of Elizabeth by phone, she came out and Kathy explained where she had found us.

"Sign? I've never had a sign up for that place. I'm very private."
"Ummm, well, our Aunt told us that the place was for rent, so we just drove over to check it out."
"Well, what exactly is it that you're looking for?"

Well, isn't That the question of the weekend. I explained that we currently lived in Evanston in an apartment but had a large dog who might like some more frequent outside time. Elizabeth went around the car to meet Graceland and was instantly in love. She asked about what I do for a living. Oh great, more questions I don't have good answers for. I told her that I'm a Reiki Master and a Life Coach and starting a business in those areas. She let me know that in no uncertain terms could I run a business out of the house. The farm has been in her family since the 1930s, the last holdout while subdivisions bought up the land around it and created a village. She does anything and everything she can to protect her "Sanctuary". Despite the fact, that I had in fact, been thinking of meeting clients in my home I promised her that I would find somewhere else to practice. I could tell that this place was worth protecting.

After she visited with Kathy for a few minutes and returned a couple phone calls, Elizabeth took us over to see the house. It's 2 1/2 bedrooms, 1 bath, and Old with lots of natural light and the most tranquil energy I've felt outside of camping in the middle of the woods. I LOVE it. Alissia LOVES it. Elizabeth was pleased that we both got the "spirit" of the house. She said that if the Universe wanted us there, we would figure out a way to make my business run. She also said that while the official name of the cottage was something very practical, she had renamed it the "Grace and Integrity" cottage and thought that perhaps one day she would hand paint a sign to indicate this.

We left with promises to call her once we figured out if we could make everything work. It didn't take long for us to decide to contact our current landlord and let him know of our intent to break our lease. As long as we find a replacement tenant, we don't even have to pay a penalty. We have an ad up on Craigslist and so far, two people have expressed interest in coming to see our apartment. It's unexpected, it might be a little crazy, but I don't think I've ever been so excited about something in my whole life and I'm reminded that most of the time, the Universe operates outside of what I think is possible or makes sense. This gives me infinitely more hope for my job search and business goals. God is GOOD.