Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Inner Defense Attorney

I've talked quite a bit about my inner critic, how cranky and mean spirited she can be and how recently I discovered that one of my top 5 passions is freeing myself from her less than helpful feedback. She has a tendency to exaggerate small mistakes into epic failures and to hyper-generalize situations... "Since last time you missed an appointment because you completely spaced out about it, this time when you missed one it's because you absolutely don't care about anyone but yourself, and the fact that you were the busiest work-wise that you've been all year really has no part in that whatsoever. See, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, she's GUILTY! Lock her up and throw away the key so that she will no longer be able to harm humanity with her thoughtlessness!"

It only recently occurred to me to think of my inner critic as a the voice of a prosecuting attorney, thanks to a book I was reading but that thought led me to a very freeing one... if there is a prosecuting attorney in my head, endlessly making cases for why I suck at life then when does she rest and the defense attorney get her turn to make her case? In all honesty, I (as the judge and jury) usually call a recess to deliberate right after statements from the prosecution and the defense never gets a word in edge wise.





Like this jacket but no leopard print...

Yesterday, I decided to help myself out and visualize both my inner prosecutor and inner defense attorney. I've been having a lot of success with visualizing things in this manner, so why not? My inner prosecutor is dressed in a bland and conservative grey pants suit, with black high heels, her hair pulled in to a severe bun with cool toned makeup. She looks like a cross between a cranky librarian and an uber uptight accountant.

On the other hand, my defense attorney is dressed in a cream colored skirt suit and purple Monolo's, with short curly hair and warm toned makeup... she looks like a cute girl                                                  next door who found a business suit.                                                Much more free.

Today I'm giving space to both, but ending on the words of the defense. The value in the prosecution's judgey comments are that they provide that many more points for my inner defense attorney to speak truth to. The voices in my head just got a lot more entertaining (and Way better dressed!)




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4 comments:

  1. UnknownOctober 16, 2013 at 5:41 PM

    What a creative trip, Kieta! I love it. Dress up your inner critic and soften her up in the process. I wonder how many other outfits she might be willing to wear on her way to joining your team. :) Thanks for your post.

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    1. UnknownOctober 21, 2013 at 4:14 PM

      I took a blog vacation for a bit, so I'm sorry I'm so late in responding to your comment but you're right, I'm sure my inner critic would also look smashing in a frilly pink tutu and perhaps display more grace than usual. :)

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  2. Audrey WilliamsOctober 16, 2013 at 11:07 PM

    I hope that I'm not being disrespectful by saying that this was a very funny read. I know that it's serious business and can be very crippling when we start to judge ourselves too harshly. I just couldn't keep myself from laughing at the thought of you making a quick wardrobe change into your stylish purple Monolos.

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    1. UnknownOctober 21, 2013 at 4:15 PM

      Audrey, my hope is that Most of what I say is funny. I know it isn't always, but I certainly don't shed any tears when it actually hits that target. I'm glad that it tickled you. I certainly had fun with it. If only I actually owned those Manolos...

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