Splendid Torch

This is the true joy in life.  The being used for a purpose, recognized by yourself as a mighty one; The being, a force of nature instead of a feverish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.  I am of the opinion that my life belongs to the whole community, and as long as I live, it is my privilege to do forth whatever I can.  I want to be thoroughly used up when I die.  For the harder I work, the more I live.  I rejoice in life for its own sake.  Life is no brief candle to me; It is a sort of splendid torch which I've got a hold of for the moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as I can before handing it on to future generations.   -George Bernard Shaw

For the harder I work, the more I live. Ooh boy, do I wish I felt like that on days when my to do list feels like it is kicking my butt! This poem was recently included in a newsletter I receive and re-reading it really drove home the notion that when I view my life in term's of its purpose, to be of service to others, I am capable of doing more because it's not just work, it's being ME.

Of course, there's also that brilliant image I want to be thoroughly used up when I die. That's right. I don't want to end my life with gas in the tank. That would mean I was holding back, putting in less than my best effort. Sometimes, the idea of my best effort terrifies me. Like many people, I have some fears of success, no doubt routed in old beliefs that I don't even realize I've held on to. However, I'm coming to this place in my life where I'm giving my beliefs another once over and chucking out ones that hold me back or choose to hold me in a place of suffering (ie anything that says that I don't deserve happiness, love, peace, success, joy... those are all Crap, Crap, Mega Crap).

I rejoice in life for its own sake. Today with some events that have deeply angered and saddened me, this has been difficult to remember but the fact remains that I do love my life. I love my opportunities to be ME, even when others clearly don't value that. No one other than me has to. :)