Faith

Well I guess it would be nice... Yeah, the blog title has George Michael running through my head. Actually 90% of the time I think of that word, I start humming/singing this song, which is funny because obviously the word has so many more connotations and deeper spiritual meanings. All the same, I've just sort of welcomed George into my discussions of spirituality because he shows up anyway, so I might as well make the best of it. (There was a tv show a few years back where the main character got messages from God in the form of George Michael songs called Eli Stone... it was truly amusing in that cheesey television dramedy sort of way.)

The word faith has been talked about in my household quite a bit this past few weeks. Job hunting is not anyone's favorite process I would guess. Sending out resumes and bugging every friend I've ever known to help me network usually ends up making me cranky. On any given day (and I've only been doing this for a week and a half now) I can wind up feeling deflated or worse depressed. I understand that this type of energy is futile to the efforts to sell myself, my skills and accomplishments. I have to think that even in a cover letter, where no one can see what I looked like while I was typing, cutting and pasting, that if I'm in a funk, that energy will carry over. The words might read all right, especially if you can write your way out of a paper bag, but the juju attached can't possibly speak well.

I know that not everyone on the planet accepts energy as something transferable through email. That aside, I'm still working quite intentionally on remaining positive throughout this process. Even if recruiters can't pick up my energy, I just plain and simply don't need it around.

This weekend my fiance said to me, "You can choose faith or you can choose fear. It's absolutely your choice."

Of course, consciously, no one says, "Oh, fear, yep, I'll take a whopping scoop of that. Who needs faithy sunshine and rainbows when I can curl up in fetal position at the bottom of my closet forecasting doom!?!?" The problem is that fear doesn't usually rule the conscious mind... it's a lurker. It waits until you're distracted and then BAM the thought occurs to you that you could be out of work for months, have to sell your house and move in with your parents. (Mom and Dad, I LOVE you but I think we both know that I have no business living under your roof again.)

Therefore, my efforts are largely focused on staying conscious in the present moment. If you think that this isn't hard, try it for five minutes. The second you think about Anything other than the exact thing at hand, you're not in the present. If you can make it more than a minute, I'll be impressed. That means you've been training hard. :)

In the middle of my writing today a beloved lifelong friend called to tell me that she and her husband are starting a family. At 8 weeks pregnant, she too will be contemplating faith in its various forms, though logistically the topics will probably center around pregnancy, parenting and making the world a better place for her child. In the meantime though, she shared that while she was job searching she found Manager Tools podcasts to be an invaluable tool. Apparently there's lots of good stuff there and as soon as I post my blog, I'm off to check it out. It's one more way to keep positive healthy information flowing in and around my apartment, brain, life.

So congratulations, Fishy. I'm soooo happy for you and When I get an amazing new job, I'll send the Coolest Aunt Kieta gifts. I promise.