We Are the World

Just a couple nights ago, I tweeted about looking for more ways to be of service. I had no doubt that the Universe would bring people/organizations/causes to my path, that I was uniquely capable of serving. I was not entirely sure what would show up, but I knew to be on the lookout. So last night when I read a post from a fellow participant in the 31 day blog challenge about domestic violence in the Church (No More Blows) I was unsurprised to feel unbelievably moved to comment and offer up what I know on the topic.

Several years ago, I worked as a case manager in a domestic violence shelter. I taught a class called DV101, based upon a wonderful book called Why Does He Do That, which focuses on helping survivors of domestic abuse reduce the blame/shame they feel for the experiences by clearly laying the responsibility at the feet of the partner making the choice to behave abusively. Working there, I was often humbled by the strength, determination and spirit of the women working to build a new life. While I was in a role of educator and manager, I suspect I learned more from the program participants than they could ever hope to learn from me.

When I first began to work with survivors of domestic violence, I felt an intense sense of guilt for having grown up in a safe, loving home. I wondered what I could possibly give to these women who had experienced so much trauma when I hadn't walked in their shoes. I find it interesting how much we/our society likes to separate us through categorization; size, race, financial status, political party... you name it, there are a million different ways to convey differences between people. What I learned, very profoundly, in my work with women and children who had been through the experience of domestic violence is that we are all first and foremost human beings, worthy of love and respect. 

While my personal journey to love and respect myself was not started at the same point on the map, these women and I were on the same journey. It was during my time at the shelter that I came to my belief that spiritual self-awareness is the answer every possible problem. Addiction, trauma, body image issues... these are all symptoms of a greater problem - forgetting who You are. When you know and love yourself as the being God created you to be, you are no longer willing to treat yourself as "less than" nor accept mistreatment from others. With a little Aretha Franklin-esque R-E-S-P-E-C-T for the beautiful being you are, you start setting healthy boundaries, with others and with that nasty little voice of negativity inside. (Alissia once said that she likes to think of this voice as similar to the aliens in Mars Attacks. It certainly makes the mind chatter more amusing that way.)  

I am passionate about domestic violence education (and addiction too, but that's another post) because I know that many people still believe completely false concepts about why abuse happens, who it happens to and how to best respond to those who do (or don't) reach out for help. I believe that if everyone understood the dynamics of abuse, not only would we respond more effectively to the very real problem going on in many families, but we would also be much kinder to ourselves. Abuse does not Just occur from the outside in and we All have the power to create change, starting in our very own hearts.

I have shared with Kia, the author of No More Blows, the curriculum that I used to teach in the shelter. Since I am not a member of the Church, I feel like it's probably a good idea to coach and encourage from the sidelines but if, like me, you feel strongly about overcoming the impact of domestic violence in our (global) community, stop by Kia's blog and encourage her brave efforts to turn her pain into a gift of love and empathy to others. We have all had suffering but those who choose to find value in it and work to end it are the best embodiment of Divine Love I can think of. Light and love to all who have been affected by domestic violence (and if you're conscious, you have been, even if it's not first hand). You deserve a better world. Let's work together to manifest it!